【Sex On Phone (2025)】

Harry Styles just released his new music video for "Kiwi" Wednesday,Sex On Phone (2025) and I have a lot of thoughts. And by thoughts, I mean questions.

The video takes place in a school with children, custom Gucci suits, pastries, puppies, and a very dramatic food fight scene. That all sounds great, but it doesn't go with the song—at all.

I love anything Styles does as I believe he can do no wrong, but you must admit, his taste in music videos so far are a little on the odd side.

For starters, why is a Harry Styles female mini-me walking like she has some unfinished business to do? Where's Harry? Is this supposed to be Harry?

Those stares, the cupcake—why is it all so intense? Where are the adults?

I would not mess with Harry's mini-me. This is going to be messy.

Okay, so there's a bunch of kids yelling in a school auditorium. Is Harry going to show up? What does this have to do with anything?

Who is this kid and why does he look so intimidating? Why do I find a child intimidating?

The kid who mutters, "What the fudge" is my favorite because literally, same.

Oh, the food fight has begun. Why are they even fighting, though? It's a sin to let all that dessert go to waste.

This kid is all of us during a crisis.

Why is she crawling for her life? Also, the man of the hour finally shows up—with a puppy. Is Styles supposed to be a teacher? I don't understand.

I see he's putting his acting skills to use—very dramatic, Styles.

Oh, the dogs are there to save the day, I think? Probably the only thing that would make sense, somewhat.

"Here's a cupcake, take a bite, then throw it." Well that makes zero sense. Also, what caused this alliance?

Guys, it's just a food fight; why is there a man down? Wait, is that a mini Ed Sheeran?

So that's it? They're okay now? It's over? Well, then. That smirk at the end is everything though.

I've come to the conclusion that this is Styles' very strange way of telling people that kids, food fights, and puppies make everything better, or that kids are better at solving problems than adults.

Either way, I agree. I just don't see what a song about "having your baby" has to do with any of this, but then again, it's also titled "Kiwi" and the world makes no sense. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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